To All The New Year’s Resolutions I’ve Loved Before

Maybe you’re still there waiting for our times to be right, maybe you never left and I was too blind to notice, maybe I shouldn’t have let you go or maybe I held onto you for too long.

Our journey has come to an end but all ends are just another beginning. If you are a lost love, at least you were love and although you can’t bestow me with your presence, I can seek you in spirit, when the reality becomes unyielding your memories will grow strong and then you will live once again. If you are an affair unfinished you become eternal, a novel half devoured the later half left solely to my imagination until one day my curiosity, knowledge and growth overpower me and I realize how wrong I had been and then I shall complete our story, realize your destiny and learn with maturity.

I am only human and I don’t know the future, but my mind can create universes of their own and foresee and it is with that power that I promise you we shall see each other again in hours, days or decades. We don’t need promises to keep us together, no vows or pledges but time to understand and respect each other and maybe that epiphany would not be on a New Year, maybe it won’t be glamorous but it shall be true.

Right now, we’re both young, gifted with countless moments of abundance ahead and I should use this to reflect, I am uncertain if we are meant to be, maybe you’re not what I need right now and I want you to remember that even as we break up, it’s me and not you.

Our time though short-lived was beautiful, you changed me, inspired me and made me a better person and we achieved so many milestones in our short time that it feels we’d never been apart. I count us in experiences and not years, we don’t need validation by society standards to know we were a good partnership. Mistakes are the only thing we never regret; the wrong decisions are often the right choices.

Let’s take a break and find each other. Let me work on my doubts, anxieties and fears while you stand by me through my insecurities, giving me passive company, ready to take a place when you’re asked to, but telling me it is, I, who must take the plunge.

Our relationship wasn’t rusting iron, shining in its glory and splendour in its initial days, yet becoming brittle and weak when exposed to vulnerabilities and unfavourable conditions. To finally lose all its purpose and strength, no, our relationship was that change and development which becomes so imbibed through habit and familiarity that the only way to realize its significance, velocity and to appreciate the difference it has made we need isolation, to give up in order to know how important it was, to lose in order to gain.

Even as I neglected you, even though we part ways, what I’m truly doing is showing the courage for soul-searching to cross paths with you again and be the person who deserves your love. You deserve only the best, and I want to prove to you, I can be what you want and you can be what I need.